Desi Jokez

The Egg Problem!
There was an indian who had a hen and his next door neigbour was a paki! every morning the indian's hen laid an egg for him, one morning the Hen jumped over to the paki's garden and laid an egg there, The indian saw this as he saw the paki run to his garden and runs in with the egg! the indian goes and knocks on the pakis door and he goes to him "thats my egg" and the paki goes "it was laid on my property" after a big argument of who's egg is it, the indian came up with a plan, the indian goes "ok lets make a deal, i'll kick u up the tate (balls) and i'll time u for how long does it take u 2 get back up, then u can kick me up the tate (balls) and then u time me fow how long does it take for me 2 get back up, the one who gets up fastest wins" the indian went first..he ran back and charged in full speed towards the paki and SMACK! up the tate (balls) after 30 mintues of agonising pain the paki got back up..then the paki goes "ok..now its my turn" then the indian goes "u can keep the fukin egg!!!"
Cold Day Thanx to Bhatti for sendin this joke.

Cold Day!
there was an english man, who was singing "there was a cold day",whilst having a shit in cinema toilets, a punjabi man walks by and hears him singing "there was a cold day, there was a cold day" he slam's the door wide open, the englishman in a shock say's, "what the bloody hell are u doin", the punjabi man reply's, "oh, sorry yarr i thought u said, darwaza khol deyh (open the door).

Sardar Drinking Milk!
3 SARDARS WENT IN TO A BAR, THE BARMAN SAID "LAD'S THE DRINKS ARE ON THE HOUSE", THE SARDARS CLIMBED ONTO THE ROOF AND SAID "SHARAB KITTE AH?"

MOT!
Ranjit was driving down the motorway, when a policeman came and stopped him. "What was i doing wrong?" asked Ranjit. "Speeding" said the policeman.
The policeman inspected the car and asked to see him MOT. "Where's your MOT please?" asked the policeman. "MOT?" wondered Ranjit. Suddenly he pointed to his wife sitting in the front seat. "E Moti!"

Checkin!
2 sikh bro's were looking for work. One day they both had an interview, same time, same place, for the same job. Both tried to get up before the other and get to the interview, not realising that both had the same thought. They get up at 6am and run to the shower, and start arguing on who is to take the first shower. One of the bro's comes up with the idea to have a shower together. They are now both having shower rubbing each others backs. Suddenly the soap falls, and they both start looking for the soap. One brother touches his other brothers stomach and says "pye jee, twada payt bu vadda ho gya!". (Brother, your stomach is too big!) the other brother who is also searching for the soap, puts his hand up his brothers arse and says; "pye jee, twaday mu vich daand koi ni"! (brother, u dont have no teeth in your mouth).

A Marriage Of Football!
Manjit, an avid Liverpool fan took his new girlfriend to a football game.
The young couple found their seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the pitch to take his position, Manjit said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year."
His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl.
Regardless of how you said it, I accept!"

No Speaks!
Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Patel went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Patel left a note on his wife's bedside table that said "Wake me at six."
An exasperated Mr. Patel awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table:
"It's six, you bum! Get out of bed!"

When Were We Married!
Abdul was always thinking of cricket. Eventually, his exasperated wife said, "You think nothing but cricket. I bet you dont even remember the day we were married."
"Of course I do," said Adbul. "It was the day Imran Khan got his first century against England."

Pilots!
Raj and Saj, now pilots are trying to land an airplane at Heathrow Airport.
They start descending and as they touch the ground Saj screams ‘Oye Raj, the runway is ending...".
Raj swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, Saj screams again "Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...". Raj swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and start descending again... This goes on again and again...
During their fourth descent Raj says : "Look at those stupid Brits, they build this huge & expensive airport but with such a short runaway..", "I know" answers Saj, "But look how wide they made it...."

Sardar Eye Test!
Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
"Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh! How nice it would be", said Banta with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long."

Sardar Runner!
The doctor told the sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, the sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem."What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms away from my home now."

Sardar Funeral!
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, "Singh Saab, aap ka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?" ....comes the reply, "Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli bar ek sardar "brain" tumour se mara hai!!!"

Sardar Blow Up Governement!
2 Sardarji's got fed up with the Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They take 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. One asks the other "What happens if the bombs blast off now" The other says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"

Banta Singh Finish's an Exam!
Banta singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how he did his exam. For that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK!!!"


Banta Singh In Court!
Banta was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices", said Banta. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

Sardar Washing Basin!
A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?" To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin' ".


Santa Singh!
Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket. "What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?" asked his neighbour "That's a good match. I'll use it again."

Sardar Marriage!
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"

Sardar Buying a TV!
Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a Green one, please."

Santa and Banta Singh!
Santa Singh and Banta singh are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Banta singh noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her.
Bartender said "Hey don't worry about her, She is lesbian! ".
Banta singh "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them" and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table. Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?"

Santa and Banta In Bombay!
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, but unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh.
He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
? He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's go in' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?"
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver".

Singh Application Form!
Mr Singh was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came to the column "SALARY EXPECTED". He was not sure what to write there. After much thought he wrote : Yes.

Santa Banta Hospital!
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta Singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta Singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta Singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it in to his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta Singh was visiting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all". He unfolded the note and read aloud:
"Phaan-Chodh, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"