Yo Mamma So Fat...
Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill.
Yo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies.
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.
Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts.
Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that says: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say "I didn't know we had mountains."
Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.
Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.
Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.
Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo mama's so fat, God created her, and on the seventh day he rested.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.
Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.
Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.
Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.
Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.
Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.
Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.
Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!
Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!
Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levi's 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.
Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.
Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.
Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.
Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.
Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.
Yo mama's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
Yo mama's so fat, she gets her toenails painted at Earl Schieb's.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."
Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan.
Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black hole.
Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and said "I'll wait my turn."
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.
Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry.
Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind.
Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
Yo mama's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a Tic-Tac.
Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.
Yo mama's so fat, she needs a road map to find her ass.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.
Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.
Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.
Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car."
Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.
Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.
Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each time zone.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"
Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.
Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.
Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.
Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama."
Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.

Yo Mamma So Stupid...
Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.
Yo mama's so stupid, her shoes say TGIF- toes go in front.
Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.
Yo mama's so stupid, I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it.
Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.
Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
Yo mama's so stupid, if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you'd get change.
Yo mama's so stupid, on her job application where it says emergency contact she put 911.
Yo mama's so stupid, she asked for a price check at the dollar store.
Yo mama's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.
Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.
Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got a part time job painting skittles.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo mama's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gum ball to come out.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.
Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.
Yo mama's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.
Yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I want to know".
Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.
Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Dr Dre's holiday album.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tiger Woods is a forest.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the Internet was something you catch fish with.
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to strangle herself with a cordless phone.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
Yo mama's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone..
Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
Yo mama's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo Mamma So Nasty...
Yo mama's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.
Yo mama's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.
Yo mama's so nasty, her tits give sour milk.
Yo mama's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo mama's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.
Yo mama's so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.
Yo mama's so nasty, she bought her boyfriend kneepads for Christmas
Yo mama's so nasty, she breeds crabs.
Yo mama's so nasty, she calls Janet "Miss Jackson."
Yo mama's so nasty, she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.
Yo mama's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
Yo mama's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.
Yo mama's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.
Yo mama's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.
Yo mama's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.
Yo mama's so nasty, she pours salt water in her drawers to keep the crabs alive.
Yo mama's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh
Yo mama's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea
Yo mama's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.
Yo mama's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.
Yo mama's so nasty, when she did the splits, she stuck to the floor.